THE THING

Do you know that feeling? When you have lost something but can’t remember what it was? You are desperately trying to think of it but it won’t come to you. You have said it a million times before and it was always there- right where you left it. But now you can’t recall it. You try and try and make it appear and it almost does. But it never does.

There are times when it surfaces-when I sense it on the tip of my tongue. I feel it struggling inside my chest to burst forth like a beach ball that can only be held beneath the water for so long.

I feel it stirring when someone hurts me. When I smile at a stranger and they don’t smile back. When I trust someone with a secret and they betray me. When someone I admire tells me I am not good enough for them.

I don’t know what it was that I have lost. But I know it was important. I know it once made me happy.

CROSSWORDS

I write to bring you closer. To imagine your fingers trailing on the curve of my neck onto my shoulder. To recall the feel of your lips in the curve of my waist. And how are bodies would fall into each other like words in a crossword puzzle. I write for the raw ache inside me when the ink seeps into the paper-for the bittersweet sorrow which comes from bringing you back.

THREE QUESTIONS

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.

It was like being exhumed, she answered. And brought to life in a flash of light.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.

It was like being seen after perpetual darkness, she replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow.

There was a long pause before she responded.

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me-said all at once.